The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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