He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
