I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
they're like a gay fantastic four
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Randomize
