oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
