Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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