So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize