On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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