My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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