Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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