I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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