I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
