Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
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