Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
