I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
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