Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
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