Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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