you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
