Don't make out with my wife yet
I should be sponsored by Trojan
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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