His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
