i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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