It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
