I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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