This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
