I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
