Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
