I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
