Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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