More tranny stories later!
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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