I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
