I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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