Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Randomize
