We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Even my vagina gasped.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
