Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
