If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
These tits shall not be calmed
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
