The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
