dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
