HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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