Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
It's never too late to be topless.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
