he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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