If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
