how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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