i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
