I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
3 2 1 whiskey
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
