I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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