i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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