he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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