O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
