I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
its liver damage thursday
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
