you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
You may now shotgun with the bride
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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