tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Girls should come with a carfax report
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
