Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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