What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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