do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
