dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
