Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
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