would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
