I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
